Yesterday I was at my local Tractor Supply Company (TSC) store buying four large bags of dog food for my dogs, 3 Puggles, an Australian Shepherd, a Great Dane and a Shih-Tzu/Maltese mix. I was in the checkout line, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

Tired of being asked silly questions all day, I impulsively replied, "No, I don't have a dog. I am restarting the Dog Diet." I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the intensive care unit the last time I tried it. Though, I'd lost 10 lbs within the first two days of trying it, before I woke up in the ICU bed with tubes protruding from all of my orifices.

I explained to her that the diet was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way it works is to load your pockets with dog nuggets and simply eat one or two any time you begin to feel hungry. The food is nutritionally balanced, and it worked so well I was ready to try it again.

At this point, everyone in the line was wide eye'd leaning in, listening intently to my story.

Horrified, the woman asked me if I ended up in the ICU because the dog food poisoned me?

"No," I explained. "I stepped off a curb to sniff the rear end of an Irish Setter and a car hit me. . . "

At that moment, I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack right there in line, he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from Tractor Supply.

That's what I get for answering stupid questions.